Turning a year older can be tough. Fortunately, we can lean on friends to offer moral support as we navigate difficult milestones such as birthdays.
Just kidding, of course. Most friends prefer to rub it in, especially if the one turning a year older is a guy. Birthday wishes for an older man – however you want to define “older” – can be downright brutal. In fact, phrases like “old fart” and “old bastard” are par for the course with this sort of birthday message.
If you're looking to give a male friend a good ribbing on his birthday, we have just the list for you. In fact, we have more funny wording ideas than he can shake his elderly fist at. So, without further ado, here are 21 uniquely humorous ways to say “Happy Birthday, old man!”
• Happy Birthday to someone who deserves to be treasured. After all, fossils of your era are hard to find.
• Happy Birthday, old fart. There's just one thing I want to know. What did they put on top of your birthday cake before the invention of fire?
• I heard you were middle-aged… as in, born in the Middle Ages. Happy Birthday, ye olde farte.
• Everything gets harder when you get older… except for your penis, of course. Happy Birthday, you old softy.
• Welcome to the curmudgeonly years, you crusty old bastard you.
• Happy Birthday to a relic from a bygone era.
• I was going to make fun of you on your birthday. Fortunately for you, I was taught to respect my elders.
• Better to be an old fart than a dumb ass. Happy Birthday!
• Birthdays suck when you're old, but at least you don't have too many more to go.
• Happy Birthday, old man. Hope you have an exciting birthday celebration… followed by a nice, long nap.
• Happy Birthday, old fart. Hope your birthday doesn't stink.
• Relax, old man. You survived disco. You can survive another birthday.
• Happy Birthday, old fart. What's that, you couldn't hear me? HAPPY BIRTHDAY, OLD FART!
• You know how guys get better looking with age? Yeah, that doesn't last forever. Happy Birthday, you sexy old bastard.
• Happy Birthday, old man. Now might be a good time to stop acting your age.
• They say that with age comes wisdom. You must be the exception that proves the rule. Happy Birthday to an exceptional old guy.
• Congratulations! After years of seasoning, you're officially a salty old bastard.
• Your birthday is one of my favorite days of the year. It reminds me that you will always be older than me.
• They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. That's because old dogs already know all the tricks. Happy Birthday, dawg.
• You're at an age where you no longer give a shit. Heck, at your age, you're happy when you can take a shit.
• You know what an old fart is? It's when you say you're 35 and it doesn't pass the smell test.
Hope you enjoyed these birthday wishes for old farts. Just remember that what comes around, goes around. You can expect similarly harsh (and hilarious) treatment when your own birthday arrives.
“Happy Birthday, old man!” – not the nicest way to wish someone a happy birthday, is it? In fact it may even sound a bit cruel. But when it's between friends we often make fun of and give each other a hard time over getting older. Especially when it's guys! That sort of banter can seem harsh but is meant with affection.
Birthday wishes for – how should we say it – the older gentleman are quite often designed to ridicule and mock. Joking about their age, bodily functions, even sex lives are all common. Crude? Maybe. Funny? Definitely! And if it's for a close pal then they usually take it all in good humour.
So if you're looking for some funny birthday messages for an older man, maybe even your husband then you're in the right place. The selection below is filled with the perfect wording ideas for your birthday wishes to the more mature fella you know.
Old Man Birthday Wishes
• With old age comes new skills: you can laugh, cough, sneeze and piss yourself all at once! Happy Birthday!
• I was going to make a joke to mark your birthday but the fact you're still alive is nothing short of a miracle and should be celebrated!
• Happy Birthday! I've kept the receipt for the gift, y'know, just in case you didn't make it
• Some words of wisdom for your birthday – smile while you still have some teeth! Happy Birthday, old fart!
• Happy Birthday! You've made it to dirty old man territory
• Remember when 50 seemed old? If you weren't so old you would! Happy Birthday, old man!
• I was sure I would get the right amount of candles to put on your cake this year, but quickly ran out of space! Happy Birthday you old fart
• Happy Birthday, old man. I hope you have a fun and exhilarating party… quickly follow by a long nap. We don't want you overdoing it now, do we?
• Happy Birthday. I would say you were old but hell, you were old last year!
• Congratulations! You've reached the age where you wake up at the same time you used to go to sleep on a Saturday. Happy Birthday old timer
• Happy Birthday. Thank you for always being older than me
• You know that saying ‘with age comes wisdom'? In your case.. not so much. Happy Birthday old man!
• I was going to give you some advice – "you have to appreciate the little things". But I remembered that at your age spotting little things is easier said than done! Happy Birthday!
• Another year and you're one step closer to diapers being mandatory! Happy Birthday you old fart!
• I know birthdays get worse as you get older. But look on the bright side – not many left now!
• Can you let me know if you're going to be blowing your candles out? I want to have the hospital on speed dial. That much effort at your age, you can't be too careful. Happy Birthday oldie
• I wish I could figure out how old you are but I hate long math. Happy Birthday you old geezer
• Happy Birthday! Today marks another day closer to your balls touching the water when you go to the toilet
• Its nice to be young, healthy and full of energy.. do you remember what that feels like? Happy Birthday, old fart!
• Don't worry about getting older. You're still going to do stupid stuff, just a lot slower. Happy Birthday, old man
• From one old fart to another – happy birthday!
• Enjoy your birthday old balls!
• Happy Birthday. Warm regards to your knees
• Just another year and another wrinkle on the ol' nutsack. Happy Birthday
• Happy Birthday you old codger! Save some of the air from your oxygen tank to blow out the candles
• If you believe in it, you can be anything! Unless you want to be young again, then I’m afraid you missed that train old pal!
• Happy Birthday! You're not getting older you’re just a little closer to death
• An old fart is as good as a new one….
• Age is just a number… although in you're case it's a pretty big number! Happy birthday to an old fossil
• You think you are old? You’re not old… you were old last year, this year you’re ancient. Happy Birthday my relic of a friend!
Happy Birthday Old Man Quotes
These birthday quotes are all about getting older and old age so should be perfect to tease and poke fun at a male friend of yours.
• “You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake” –
Bob Hope
• “You’re getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it” – Felix Severn
• “Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself” – Tom Wilson
• “As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two” – Norman Wisdom
• “Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest” – Rev. Larry Lorenzoni
• “Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed” – Charles Schultz
• “The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana” – Betty White
We hope you liked these birthday wishes for old men and that they've helped you to have a bit of a laugh with a friend of yours. Be warned though: it won't be too long until you're on the receiving end of one of these messages yourself!
Funny 50th Birthday Wishes: Sending funny birthday wishes to your dear ones is one of the most effective ways to bring a smile to their faces on their birthdays. But being funny in cards or text messages not so easy. You have to find the right words and know how to use them in funny 50th birthday card messages. Here are some examples of funny and hilarious 50th birthday wishes for someone who is celebrating his/her 50th birthday. Pick the one that suits your taste and send it right away to make a difference, to make your birthday wish stand out among so many of them.
Funny 50th Birthday Wishes
Happy 50th birthday! You're aging like wine. Congratulations!
Tom Cruise, Demi Moore, and John Bon Jovi have already turned 50 and now one more superstar has joined the club. Happy 50th birthday!
You're just 35 with 15 bonus years. Wishing you a Happy 50th birthday!
You are halfway to a hundred but that doesn’t guarantee you will live that long. Happy 50th birthday.
You're no longer the oldest person I know in their 40's. Now you're the youngest 50-year-old I know.
Now that you're 50 you've probably got more hair where you don't want it and less hair where you do want it. You can't fight it but at least you can still let your hair down and have fun on your birthday!
If you were a dog, you would be 213 years old. So, don’t feel so bad about your age. At least you’re aging like a human. Happy 50th!
Your 40's are behind you now, so you should have your midlife crisis out of your system. Be proud! You wear it well!
If you can blow up all your birthday balloons, then you will officially earn the right of calling yourself young at fifty. Happy 50th birthday.
Happy birthday and congratulations, you're halfway to a telegram from the Queen. In the meantime, put your feet up and enjoy the rewards from all the hard work you put in during your 20s, 30s and 40s.
Now that you are an old 50-year-old, you only have 10 years before I call you an old 60-year-old.
Every single birthday of yours is a reminder for me that I’m not the oldest person here! Happy 50th, cheers!
It's just about gaining few more grey hairs than me, nothing else to be worried about. Happy 50th birthday!
I hope you already saved enough money for retirement. It's time to count them all. Happy 50th birthday!
Thanks for reminding me that I’m not as old as you. Happy Birthday you old fart!
You can't hide your age to others. Your hair is turning gray, and wrinkles appearing. So, tell the truth, is it your 50th, or you're lying.
Funny 50th Birthday Messages
Don’t ever bother spending money on anti-aging creams or face-lifting lotions. At 50, there is no turning back even with a secret potion. Happy birthday old-timer.
As you turn 50 you can age as gracefully as you like – flaunt your grays and wrinkles or use modern technology to hide them. Whichever path you choose, it only happens once so do it well and have a wonderful birthday!
You are half a century, or 5 decades, or 50 years, or 600 months, or 2609 weeks, or 18262 days, or 438288 hours, or 26297280 minutes, or 1577836800 minutes old, depending on what unit of measure you are using. Hey, at least I didn't figure it out for seconds. Happy 50th birthday!
As we grow older, we become more open-minded and understanding. So, you’d still understand if I didn’t buy you a gift right? Cheers to you on your special day!
The older you get, the brighter your cake becomes. See? It’s all filled with burning candles. Have fun blowing!
Now the rest of your life will depend on whether you have fun by being nifty, or you become bored by being thrifty. The choice is yours. Happy 50th birthday.
It is never too late to grow up and stop being stupid. Maybe your 50th birthday is your chance to do just that. Happy birthday.
Midlife crisis is a label that is given to fifty year olds to stop them from being the best they can. Forget these labels and enjoy life to the fullest. Happy birthday.
Don’t worry about getting older. You can still go for facelifts to wipe out the wrinkles. Happy birthday!
You’ve got half a century of accumulated knowledge and wisdom! That would be awesome… if you could remember any of it.
I would make a joke about how old you’re getting, but I’m worried that if I hurt your feelings I might not get a chance to apologize to you since you are getting so old. Happy 50th!
Happy 50th birthday! In your fifties, you can forget about mortgages, contraception, and school fees. You'll probably forget everything else as well, but at least now you'll have an excuse.
Funny 50th Birthday Quotes
Celebrating 50 is like throwing a party when your odometer reaches 150,000 miles. – Melanie White
By fifty, you’ve figured out that time is a great healer and a not-so-hot beautician.
Turning 50 means it's only a matter of time before you're regaling your grandkids with tales of your first colonoscopy. – Greg Tamblyn
50 years old means no more wearing speedos on the beach. This is a rule. – Greg Tamblyn
Fifty is a powerful age for women. You can set off sprinkler systems with your hot flashes.
When I was young, people used to say to me: Wait until you’re fifty, you’ll see. Well, I'm fifty. I haven’t seen anything. – Eric Satie
Fifty is a weird age. I can clearly remember my childhood, but I can’t remember where I put my keys. – Melanie White
I’m aiming by the time I’m fifty to stop being an adolescent. – Wendy Cope
At 50, you’ve entered the stone age: gall, kidney, and bladder.
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. – Phyllis Diller
Who said there were no such things as miracles? You made it to 50, didn’t you? – Melanie White
The face you have at age twenty-five is the face God gave you, but the face you have after fifty is the face you earned. – Cindy Crawford
You’ve got four sizes of clothes in your closet, three of which will never be worn again by you.
After fifty, one ceases to digest. As someone once said, "I just ferment my food now. – Henry Green
I’m 50, and the only thing getting thinner is my skin. – Melanie White
50th Funny Birthday Wishes for Him
Thanks for reminding me that I’m not as old as you. Happy 50th birthday!
You’ve been in your thirties so many years. I’m quite unsure about your age this year. Maybe it's the fifty. Happy birthday anyway!
Something special in you always helps you stand out in a crowd. That’s your age!
I believe you’re here since the dawn of time. Dinosaurs have gone extinct, but you are still here. Congratulations to you and happy 50th birthday, of course!
A man never gets older, he can only get wiser. Remember this quote forever, and you’ll never feel sad. Happy birthday!
50th Funny Birthday Wishes For Her
I’m good with numbers, and your age always fascinates me. I believe you’ve been here since the beginning of this universe!
I always get my inspiration from you. You’re such a strong and courageous woman. I don’t think anyone else survived the dinosaurs except you!
Today you have achieved a milestone. A 50-year older woman 50th birthday to my favorite old and not so wise lady!
Growing older and growing wiser are two different cases. And I don’t blame you for that. Happy birthday my sweetheart!
I hope to celebrate your 50th birthday for many more years to come. Here’s a happy birthday from me for year one!
50th Funny Birthday Wishes For Mom
For me, your birthday is like a national holiday. Whatever I do and wherever I maybe, I’ll always find ways to wish you happy birthday!
Dear Mom, I hope you know how hard it is to find you a birthday gift every year because you have too many birthdays! Just kidding. Happy 50th birthday to you!
Don’t ever let dad say you are getting old. You’re still as youthful and gorgeous as you were in your thirties. Happy 50th birthday, mom!
50th Funny Birthday Wishes For Dad
I wonder what your friends would gift you on your birthdays when you were my age? Ancient papyrus greeting cards?
I know it hurts to see people enjoying the fact that you are getting older and greyer. But you are not getting younger anyway. Happy 50th birthday, dad!
Today, so many people will bring gifts for you. But since it's difficult for you to keep all the gifts, I’m thinking of helping you by keeping them all.
50th Funny Birthday Wishes For Wife
I prayed to God to make you older and wiser. Only the first one came true. Happy birthday my love. Wishing God bless you with the second one as soon as possible.
I know it's hard to enjoy being old when you are old. But, hey, it’s okay if you ask me. I had just passed the same line a few years ago. Happy 50th birthday!
From now on, you can enjoy all your senior citizen discounts, just like me. Happy 50th birthday and best wishes to you!
50th Funny Birthday Wishes For Husband
Today is the day you can pretend to be young even though you’re not. Happy 50th birthday, my love.
Half of our budget for celebrating your birthday went to buying candles. Try getting younger or stop getting more birthdays!
I’ve known you for so many years, and I must admit that you are much older today than you were when we first met. Happy 50th birthday, dear!
Funny 50th Birthday Sayings
You know you’re 50 when the only silver lining you can see is on your head. – Melanie White
For my 50th birthday, my husband and I spent a weekend in Rehoboth Beach. My first choice was in 1978, but the time machine was booked. – Jean Sorensen
I rented a bounce house for my adults-only 50th birthday and had a blast jumping in the stupid thing. I kept expecting the Age Police to show up and ticket me. – Janet Periat
Happy 50th – the years look good on you! But then, I don’t see as well as I used to. – Melanie White
At 50 years old, life seems shorter. No point in spending it trying to make yourself disappear by dieting.
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. – Sir Norman Wisdom
My 50th birthday wish: that I had as much silver in my safe as I have in my hair. – Melanie White
50 years old: In Led Zeppelin terms, that's halfway up the stairway to heaven.
In your 20s: Looking for your perfect match. In your 50s: Just happy if your socks match. – East of Sweden
50 years old? Look on the bright side. The older you get, the more likely you are to outlive your child support payments. – Melanie White
When I turn 50, instead of lying about my age and putting it back 10 years, I'll put it forward 10 years so I can freely talk about my bowel movements. – Thrill Tweeter
Now that I’m 50, my body pops and creaks so much, it sounds like the percussion section at the symphony. – Greg Tamblyn
Now that I’m 50, people try to be polite, and instead of calling me old, they say I’m mature. Obviously they don’t know me very well. – Melanie White
Birthdays are the most joyful occasion anyone can ever have. It’s a great occasion to bring a smile to the daces of your loved ones by sending some hilariously funny wishes. You don’t always have to possess great humor to be funny. You just have to know the right words and combine them in your sentences to make a wish full of great humor. Our collection of funny 50th birthday wishes will surely help you make your loved one laugh on their 50th birthday. Don’t miss any opportunity to make them laugh and realize how special they are to you and how important it is to bring a big smile to their faces.