Some time's my heart is made of stone
and some days blood drips down it like
a rose petal falls off it's stems in the
middle of a hot summer night.
I get days where i'm filled with
anger, jealousy and then
grieve myself
within until the morning
seems...
Just for once, why isn't it me?
Is there a curse, lying beneath the earth,
or is it just me living alone in a life
where everyone seems to be free.
Sometimes my heart turns to cold stone, when the core ignites, my night fills with a hurtful site.
I ignored you
and for that I am sorry
I tried to love you
and couldn't see you enter my heart
I got scared
and left you behind hoping for closure in it
but instead
I just feel like a
I Didn't Say Sorry
To my big sister's big sister
I don't know what to say to you
I really don't
It seems so unfair
that words can rip you apart
but words can't sew you back together
I don't want to say "I'm sorry"
For those too are just words
Just noises, pieced together
in a pointless waltz
I don't want to say "thank you"
For that then denies the pain it took
to deal with what I forced you to handle
Unwanted message after unwanted message
I don't want to say "I'll do better"
For I don't know what tomorrow will bring
Anger? Hatred? Hurt?
This could stop next week
for all I know
or it could carry on until time runs out
So I guess I'll say "I'm trying"
For though they are words also
They are not meaningless
You're working through the hurt, but
so am I
So I guess I'll say "don't hurt me"
A simple plea
But I know that given what I've done
it's a difficult ask
It seems so unfair
that I'm asking anything of you
despite everything I'm causing
So that's all I'll say.
With love,
From your little sister's little sister
This is a really private thing to share, but here goes...
Why can't words put back together what words have broken?
I don't know what else I can do to say sorry...
Remember
when you weren’t given enough sunshine
so you
s t r e t c h e d
as far as you could to reach it
Remember
when you woke up
to flames
licking at your lungs &
half remembered people
screaming your name
Remember
the apology
you kept behind your teeth
for the person in the mirror
(I am sorry I can’t be enough)
I am sorry this apology
feels so brittle you hope
it doesn’t shatter and make you choke
Remember
when you got up
the next day and the next night
and every single time after that
- Do you remember when you kept going
I try to force the tears out
can't bear their burning behind my tired eyes
clutching my stomach
desperate for this ache to leave me
Jesus please
take this ache away from me
I want to put a blade to my weakened wrist
can't bear the pulsing, pulsing
beating, beating
of the blood pumping through my veins
Let my body surrender to the darkness
like I have
I need to scream it into the void of nothingness
can't bear these words that are stuck in my throat
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I'm so so so sorry
t h i s i s a l l m y f a u l t
Why.
Why am I so stupid
Why am I so
I knew I had hurt you
but no
I had to ignore it
If only there was a way
back
but there isn't
so I'm trapped here
I chose to push it
aside
and now it's too late
Why am I so stupid
Why am I sostupid
Please, don’t count on apologies
when you miscalculate all my tears
Sometimes sorry is not enough
told me you love me
then betrayed me with someone else
what do you want me to say?
coming back
saying you're sorry
expecting me to forgive you;
never felt so hurt
Yet
idiot me,
still here
I can't live without you
written on June 24, 2022
Muah, muah,
I'm so sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry -
Sorry for all the sorrys.
I have to apologize for everything I do,
For who am I if not a self-acknolwedged failure?
Who am I if not a cluster of catastrophes?
My words are empty;
My apologies are emptier than loneliness.
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.
I said I'm sorry-
I know, but I said I'm sorry.
Please, please I wanna say sorry;
I wanna be sorry.
I know, I know...
But I'm sorry.
How do I unwind my trail of sorrys?
How damp of a marker will I need
To scratch out "sorry" from my thesaurus?
Just what will I do without my precious little word?
My sorry - my keeper, my comfort,
My obsession.
Now say that you forgive me,
Come on.
Say it, please, I'm begging you.
I need it more than life itself.
I'm so sorry.
Critiques welcomed! Thanks!
Jason Sebastian Russo
SORRY
sorry I called your salad transgressive
sorry I thought you said "garbage sale"
sorry I vowed to love you “like time loves a face”
sorry I hissed "redefine elegance" between reps
sorry I said “form is emptiness & emptiness is form” instead of “those jeans look great”
sorry I was wearing our half-empty tandem horse costume at the time of my arrest
[re: your wedding] sorry about the tambourine
sorry I counted how many lukewarm crepes it would take to cover my corpse
sorry I stared down the years like an idiot while our relationship deepened of its own accord
sorry my recitation of the Bhagavad Gita filled the breakfast nook with an atmosphere of despair
sorry I kept noting the things that drive you crazy but don't bother me & vice versa
sorry I held out for decency, despite a gazillion horrors shit-storming to the contrary
sorry I experience the world in a way that I can’t understand, let alone explain & sorry for what I assume is a
similar predicament on your end
sorry I suggested "fireworks salesperson" as a possible career path for your nephew
sorry I likened time to a giant drain into which everything we love disappears, but not sorry for noting the
the incomprehensible frequency with which everything loveable continues to happen
sorry I said "the moon landing was real, but everything else is fake" to your brother-in-law
sorry I suggested we "paint the dog" within earshot of your family
sorry I muttered “the mail sends us” in my sleep
sorry I insisted it was "valt & sinegar"
sorry I gasped "vibes" into the endless night sky
sorry I tried to work "Jericho Trumpet" into our love language
sorry I insisted "everything but actually" over & over again until there was no one to disagree
sorry our love grew so large it included the entire earth & then the universe
sorry I referred to myself as a "leak without a bucket" in the same room as a cop
sorry I fell in love with the world/forgot my passcode
sorry I invoiced your child my standard life coach flat rate
sorry I asked to text your baby
sorry I said you had the body of a poet
sorry I called your inner child a “curator of despairs”
sorry I referred to your worldview as "above the knee"
sorry I suggested we play “find the tab the noise is coming from”
sorry I used the word discourse too many times at breakfast
sorry I offered to console your pet with fresh blood
sorry I hissed “virtue isn't heritable” at your grandparents
sorry I noted the inherent limitations of your second-person perspective in their
fundamentally second-personal normative moral and political theory
sorry I muttered, "postmodernity is what happens when modernity recognizes it’s a tradition"
sorry I murmured “time wastes us” into your baby monitor
sorry I got down on one knee at the Toyotathon sales event of the year
sorry I told your imaginary friend to keep it real
an avant-garde
art piece
in which you
spend your life
never making
any
all your
dead friends
cheering your
murderer
on
history teaches
not even ridiculous hats
keep us alive
ONCE
once
I stopped drinking
for 20 years
worried too much
underneath
inconsolable
stars
gasped
looked around
but
no one else saw
how terrifying
3 Questions for Jason
What was your process for creating this work?
I came to writing after being in music for a long time. As a songwriter, I learned the value of a hook: melodic, rhythmic, or conceptual. Conceptual hooks are usually lyrical; a lot of country music relies on them. These poems are just that, I wanted to pare everything down to essentials while still being engaging. They are the chorus or refrain—or several choruses—of unwritten songs. I’m a maximalist in my prose and music production, so when I write poems, it’s a process of refining and editing an enormous amount of options. It’s a lot of iterating and cherry-picking.
What is the significance of the form you chose?
I’ve been obsessed with Japanese poetry since my late teens. The poetry of Ikkyu and Dogen has been a source of comfort and inspiration for a long time. They've had an impact on my life and writing. I’m interested in beauty, but I’m also interested in forcing the human brain into impossible places as a way to snap it out of well-worn patterns. Also, I’m interested in humor because poetry is constantly under the threat of being self-important, imho.
What is the significance of this work to you?
I don’t know how to answer this one. The significance is the poems, I think. Your question makes me wonder what they are significant of, though. I’ll have to get back to you on that one.
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Sorry Poems
Sorry poems from famous poets and best beautiful poems to feel good. Best sorry poems ever written. Read all poems about sorry.
POPULAR POEMS ABOUT SORRY
Sorry for making you mad
Sorry for everything I said
Sorry for lying to you
Sorry, I’m so sorry
I’m sorry of being so emotional
I’m sorry of being so possessive
I’m sorry that I cry for you
I’m sorry because I can’t live without you
Oh, oh, you will be sorry for that word!
Give me back my book and take my kiss instead.
Was it my enemy or my friend I heard,
"What a big book for such a little head!"
I'm sorry for what I've done
I'm sorry for who I've been
Sorry for where its gone
So sorry to lose a friend
Sorry, I am so sorry my love. I hurt you without any reason
Your tears made my heart cry. Why I did to you that I don't know
Forgive me! I am so sorry my love
I’m sorry,
I’m sorry for all the times I’ve cried
I’m sorry for every single lie
I’m sorry I was never enough
Sorry mom and dad, for doing wrong instead of right.
Sorry mom and dad that I had gotten into all those fight.
Sorry mom and dad, for lying instead of the truth.
Sorry mom and dad, for being really rude.