Funny Retirement Wishes: Retirement is the time for relaxation, but leaving the favorite workplace and going through daily routine changes can be frightening. While retiring, people are sure to feel nostalgic. Due to the lack of motivation, they often feel low-spirited too. Do you know someone who has just retired and wants to lighten their mood with funny retirement wishes? There is no better way to do that than sending the person some funny retirement messages. Below, find out some funny retirement quotes and messages to wish the retiree a happy and fun-filled retired life.
Funny Retirement Wishes
Before you’d have to wait for holidays, now the rest of your life is one! Do enjoy it.
Retirement is like graduation- only this time, you will do a masters on laziness!
Seeing your performance over the years you’ve worked, I’m sure that you’ll be very good at doing nothing!
For someone who looks forward to lay around all day, retirement must be thrilling! Have fun.
Now you’re rich and fat, what can be a perfect time for retiring? You’ve chosen the right path!
Now you get a new boss who knows about your true work ethic, organizational skills, and excuses. Spouses make the toughest bosses. Good luck!
It doesn’t matter whether you behave like a grumpy retiree or not, because people are going to assume that anyways. Good luck dealing with that.
Congratulations for your retirement. Now you will be forced to work on a never-ending project that will take up all your time and it’s called – Doing Nothing.
Health, family, friends and relationships are some of the things that you sacrificed in your life so that you could work harder and earn more money. Now you will realize that you need these things to enjoy retirement. Such is the irony of life.
No matter how many college degrees, skill development courses and professional accreditation's you have received, there is one more qualification you will still receive after your retirement – Master of Doing Nothing. Congratulations.
Have a happy retirement and try not to take life too seriously. After all, for all the years that you were working, you took things easy. Why should you change now?
All your life you sacrificed your health so you could earn more money to retire happily. Now you’ll realize that you’ll be spending all the money to keep up your health. Congratulations.
After retirement the body grows older, the heart grows fonder and the mind becomes younger. All the best at trying to handle an old body with a young mind and fond heart.
Funny Retirement Messages For Colleague
When people say that this place will not be the same without you, they actually mean that it will be less annoying.
You’re retiring now? I thought you did it the day you joined here. I mean, when did you ever work?
If this workplace were a hell, which it is, you’d be one of the greatest devils of it, and you’ll be missed.
People who call sloths the laziest animals surely have never met you. You were born to retire, buddy.
Don’t let everyone’s loving words fool you; I’m the only one in the office who is going to miss you.
Funny Retirement Messages For Coworkers
I used to be excited about retirement until I saw you. God forbid that I become as grumpy as you!
This is the only time when everyone at the office will be looking up to you. Who doesn’t want to get out of this place!
Ah retirement, the days of daydreaming and sleeping till noon, all the things you’re good at!
I’m jealous that every day of the week will be the weekend for you. Have a good life ahead!
Congratulations on leaving the job and not getting fired after missing so many deadlines!
Funny Retirement Messages For Boss
Who said bosses have to be scary? Seeing you, I’ve come to believe that bosses are not only scary but also frightful!
Your retirement hurts me; not because you’re leaving, but because of the worry that what if the next boss also happens to be like you?
I’ve always been more excited about your retirement than my own, and you can obviously guess why!
We will miss you, boss, other than your screaming, glowering, and pretty much showing up at the office.
You’re done bossing us, now you can do it around your grandkids and pets; because bossing is in your blood.
Funny Retirement Messages For Husband
Dear husband, congratulations on your new-found freedom! keep calm and have fun.
Happy retirement, love. And if you ever miss your workplace, I can be your boss, for free!
Now that you’re done with your other job, you can go back to your main job- annoying me 24/7.
Finally, you’ve retired, and you cannot give the excuse of work anymore. Marriage is going to be great again!
Thank God, now I have a new 24/7 assistant at my home! Happy retirement to my life long helper.
Happy retirement hubby. I'm happier on your retirement than you. At least you have no excuse to make time for me.
Funny Retirement Messages For a Friend
I know a lazy guy like you deserves an early retirement! Congrats on your well-deserved leisure.
Welcome to the old man club. It's time to gossip about joint pain, high bp, sugar level, and Et cetera Et cetera.
If life is a meal, retirement is its dessert. To enjoy it, stay fit, and don’t let your blood sugar go high!
Congratulations to a lazy-bone like you for completing work-life! Finally, you can go back to being your true self.
I wanted to wish you a fun retirement. But with this old fat body, I don’t see any fun coming towards you.
Funny Retirement Messages
Can you believe that finally from now on all days on your calendar are marked as Sunday? Enjoy them and may you always have a smile on your face. Happy retirement.
Retirement is the only thing that will make you realize how you wasted all these years trying to be mature when you can get back to being a child at the end of it all. Have fun.
It is interesting to note that when people are giving you retirement gifts there is always a watch or a clock as if to tell you that your time is up. Have a time free retirement.
Every day of your retired life will feel like a happy Friday night. But it’s useless because being old will make you feel dull like Monday morning all the time. Happy retirement.
All these years you argued with your colleagues, juniors, managers and your boss at work. After retirement, you will argue with your grand-kids, children and wife at home. Life remains the same.
As I see it you have been practicing how to retire and now the real thing is here. You are so good at it that there should be no problem taking up your new role. Have a happy retirement.
Happy retirement and my advice is that you do not try to say that you are coming back because you will be surprised at people’s reactions. No one will give back your office, nor your parking space. No one misses you that much.
Funny Retirement Quotes
“When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking.” – Gail Sheehy
“Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.” – Jonathan Clements
“Retired people compliment my teeth, then tell me to take care of them. This always makes me think they are trying to steal them.” – Emily Claire Tamblyn
“When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.” – R C Sherriff
“People are always asking me when I'm going to retire. Why should I? I've got it two ways. I'm still making movies, and I'm a senior citizen, so I can see myself at half price.” – George Burns
“The concept of freedom is never truly realized until one settles into retirement mode.” – A. Major
“Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.” – Gene Perret
“We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to work – and then we retire. And what do they give us? A bloody clock.” – Dave Allen
“When you retire, you switch bosses — from the one who hired you to the one who married you.” – Gene Perret
“A gold watch is the most appropriate gift for retirement as its recipients have given up so many of their golden hours in a lifetime of service.” – Harry Mahtar
“First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.” – Branch Rickey
“Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous, When I was sixty-five – I still had pimples.” – George Burns
“Retirement, we understand, is great if you are busy, rich and healthy. But then, under those conditions, work is great too.” – Bill Vaughan
“I've been attending lots of seminars in my retirement. They're called naps.” – Harry Emerson Fosdick
“I’m not just retiring from the company, I’m also retiring from my stress, my commute, My alarm clock, and my iron.” – Hartman Jule
Retirement is a big step in everyone’s life. One’s life completely changes after this step. So if you have a retiree at your family or workplace, send them your love along with some touches of humor. Here, we offer you some funny retirement goodbye messages that will surely make the receiver roll with laughter. Please read them and get ideas on what funny things to write in a retirement card for a friend, family member, co-worker, or even a boss! The best part is, these messages can be given to anyone, regardless of their profession or gender. So wish them a happy retirement with some jokes and a little bit of personal touch, and they will remember your words forever.
Happy Retirement Wishes And Messages
• Retirement is not the end. It’s the beginning of the open highway. So have fun on your road trip! Happy Retirement!
• Enjoy your freedom and unlimited weekends. Congratulations on your retirement!
• May the coming time bring a lot of happiness to you. Happy Retirement!
• You have worked extremely hard and this is the reward of it. Embrace your new retirement life with open arms and have fun!
• Retirement marks the end of working for someone else and the beginning of living for yourself.
Short And Funny Retirement Wishes
• Retirement is when you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house.
• Retirement marks the transition from working under one boss to a new one called WIFE. Congratulations.
• Retirement- When every day is a Saturday!
• Now your only job is having fun and I’m sure you are pro at it. Happy Retirement.
• A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job.
Happy Retirement!
Relax
Entertain
Travel
Indulge
Read
Enjoy
• Retirement to do list: wake up, coffee, eat, sleep, repeat.
• What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? Retired!
Retirement Wishes For Boss
• Dear boss, for exemplary discipline and honest work, you deserve the best retirement ever. You will always be my inspiration, wherever I go.
• We will miss you so much at work. Happy Retirement Day, boss.
• Happy retirement day to a motivator, a great leader, and a quintessential role model.
• Dear boss, on your retirement, I wish you good luck, good health, and a stress-free life with your loved ones.
• May you have a relaxing new chapter ahead. Wish you the best of Retirement life, boss.
• Congratulations on a fantastic career. You were the perfect boss. I’ll miss you.
• It’s always hard to look for a perfect goodbye. We hope that you’ll enjoy your retirement as much as we enjoyed working with you all these years.
Retirement Wishes For Friend
• Here’s to the new chapter of your life bringing you laughter, happiness and good times! Happy retirement day, dear friend!
• Dear bestie, I am very happy about your retirement. Finally, we can plan for all those trips that we've always wanted to do together.
• Welcome to the retirement club, buddy! It is time to make memories and have fun together.
• Dear bestie, whatever you decide to do, here’s hoping that your retirement is everything you ever dreamed of and much more.
• Dear friend, may the years of your retirement be rich, rewarding, and kind, and may there be no limit to the happiness you find!
Retirement Wishes For Colleague
• I wish you a stress-free and happy retirement. We are really going to miss your presence at work, buddy!
• A great colleague like you would always be remembered with respect and honor. Enjoy your retired life to the fullest.
• Dear colleague, may your post-retirement life be filled with all of the things you love.
• No more boss to boss you around. Now you are your own boss! Have a fun-filled and relaxing retirement!
• The time of handling work pressure and meeting deadlines is gone! It’s your time now- enjoy it to the fullest. Happy Retirement day, dear coworker.
Retirement Wishes For Father Or Mother
• Let your weeks and months be nothing but fun and excitement. Have a relaxing and adventurous retirement, dear father.
• Your years of hardwork and determination paid off! Happy Retirement, my sweet mother.
• Dear Mother, you are a living example of honesty and dedication. On your retirement, I wish you a healthy and stress-free life.
• Happy Retirement Dad! I am so excited thinking about all the free time we can now spend together. Love you.
• Dear Maa, Happy Retirement to you! Now it's time for you to enjoy and live your life to the fullest.
• Father, Congratulations on your retirement. May you enjoy every moment of this new inning of your life.
• You’ve done your bit – worked so hard and provided for your family. It’s now time for us to do ours and take care of you. Happy Retirement Day, Papa.
• Happy Retirement, Maa. We’ll make sure your retirement is as incredible as you could have ever imagined.
• As you go into this next phase of life, may you enjoy the very best life has to offer. Happy Retirement Day, Dad.
• Dear daddy, you have always given us more than we ask for. I am sure you are only retiring from work and not from the joys of life. Happy Retirement to you!
• Happy Retirement, Mom! Trust me, your life’s golden part is just about to start. So keep your chin up and smile knowing you’ve all our love and support.
• Your tireless efforts have enabled us to achieve our goals and realize our aspirations. We appreciate you very much, and we are now overjoyed to see you rest. Happiest retirement, dad.
Retirement Wishes For Teacher
• Thank you for being the best teacher. I wish you the best of luck on your retirement day!
• I feel so blessed to have had a teacher like you in my life. Thank you for being you and showing me direction. Best wishes on your retirement day.
• Not sure what I would have been doing in my life with you teacher. Thank you for being there with me in the toughest time. Now, it’s time for you to relax and enjoy your retired life.
• Thank you teacher for your guidance and support. Enjoy your well-earned retirement.
• My dear teacher, you're a true inspiration, and you’ve touched many people’s lives. It won’t be the same without you here, but we wish you the happiest retirement!
Inspirational Retirement Quotes | Retirement Farewell Quotes
• “Retirement’s the most wonderful thing. I get to enjoy all the things I never stopped to notice on the way up. After an extraordinary life, it’s time to enjoy my retirement.” – Patrick Macnee
• “Retirement, a time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, where you want to do it and how you want to do it,” – Catherine Pulsifer
• “For many, retirement is a time for personal growth, which becomes the path to greater freedom.” – Robert Delamontague
• “A thriving new beginning can be and should be a time for amazing engagement, growth, connections, contributions, and amazing possibilities.” – Lee M. Brower
• “For retirement brings repose, and repose allows a kindly judgment of all things.” – John Sharp Williams
Happy Retirement Poems | Retirement Congratulations
• You can now relax by the sea
Without worrying about at work, being an absentee
Now you can sit at home sipping tea
Without stressing about the corporate tree
Now to your bosses, you don’t have to agree
Now you are a man of your own will, totally free
You are no longer an employee
Now you are a retiree
Happy retirement!
• Welcome to the world,
Of waking up late,
Being disoriented,
And Forgetting the date.
Get into the habit,
Of having lots of fun,
Not being anwerable,
To a single person.
• Time goes by so very fast,
It’s so hard to believe,
It’s time for your retirement,
Time for feeling free.
You worked so hard,
to make this dream come true,
And no one deserves it,
any more than you.
I wish you days of happiness,
not filled with any strife,
I hope that your retirement years,
Are the best years of your life!
• Throughout your life,
You have worked so hard
All the long hours
Has left you scarred
But now it’s time to redeem
All your life’s work
Most of the responsibilities
You can rightfully shirk
Congratulations on reaching
This milestone finally
You are an inspiration
For colleagues, friends, and family.
